


Jezebel

by EllieBear



Series: Evening on the Ground [3]
Category: Veronica Mars (Movie 2014), Veronica Mars (TV), Veronica Mars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, F/M, Rape Aftermath, Sleepovers, Snowed In
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-24 13:51:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9745325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllieBear/pseuds/EllieBear
Summary: Veronica’s emotional tango.  Will she let her fears stop her from pursuing a relationship with Logan? Or will her heart win?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Wow. I am overwhelmed by all the wonderful comments and kudos everyone left on the previous story. Thank you so much. You guys really know how to motivate a writer with positive reinforcement. 
> 
> And thanks to the VMHQ for overlooking my definitely-over-1000 word count when I submitted these stories to the collection. :)

Veronica was emotionally hungover. The events of last night played over in her head as she lay curled up under the covers. Just hours before, she told a complete stranger about her rape. Someone who she kind of liked. Scratch that…someone who she definitely liked.

Letting out a small, angsty groan, she pulled the blankets over her head, hoping the couch would magically fly her home, or at the very least, transport her to Narnia.

Pressing her face into her pillow, she breathed deeply. Sandlewood. Musk. Vanilla. Sweat. _God, Logan must have given me his pillow_. Veronica fell asleep so hard, she hadn’t noticed last night. Shifting her face to the side, she breathed again. Shit. He smelled good. This was bad.

_Well, this is the closest you’ll ever get to him; might as well enjoy it,_ she thought as she pressed her nose to the pillow again.

The actual rape was only the tip of the emotional iceberg. The idea of kissing him was one thing – she was pretty sure she could do that quite easily -- but the fact that sex terrified her, would keep him away for good. By the way he called himself a ‘slut’ it meant he would probably want to have sex with her, at some point, if they dated. And she had enough problems trying to have sex with Piz without freaking out. What would she do with someone who was so obviously built for sex, like Logan was? The image of his abs flashed across her mind once more, making her flush with warmth.

Tossing the blankets off her head, she made a quick getaway plan: gather her things, trudge home through the snow, shower in the dark, then buy her coffee every day from now on at Starbucks on campus. Sure, she’d think about him, but wasn’t it better to have lusted from afar – and not get hurt – than never to have lusted at all?

Rising, she grabbed her boots off the floor and tiptoed towards her laptop and phone, which were still plugged in at her table.

“Knock it off, Dick.”

Logan’s voice carried from the kitchen, along with the delicious smell of baking cookies. Changing direction, Veronica crept over to the counter to try and get a better listen to what was being said.

As she approached, she saw the shaggy blond barista who served her every morning, sitting on the counter in the kitchen.  Logan was out of her sight range, but it was obvious he was back there.

A chill ran down her spine as she realized she was alone with two men now. _Not the same_ , she said to herself, trying to squelch her panic. _We aren't at_ _a party. We aren’t in a bedroom. It isn't happening again._ Pushing her brain to focus, she crouched behind the counter, her head just above so she could watch what was happening while she listened to their conversation.

“…and I can’t believe ‘7:15 Double Americano’ girl slept over and you didn’t do her!” Dick said with a chuckle.

“I hate when you refer to customers by their orders,” Logan said.

“You didn’t when you screwed ‘6:45 large caramel latte, no foam’ last year,” Dick laughed. “Do you even remember her actual name?”

“The Navarros won’t care if I fire your ass while they’re gone, Dick. In fact, they may love it.”

“Pfft. You’d be lost without me.”

“Would I? Would I really?”

“Back to the topic of the hot girl on your couch…”

_Hot?_ The last thing Veronica ever thought of herself as was ‘hot’. Looking down at her wrinkled blouse and jeans, she was sure the only thing she could be was a hot-mess.

“Look, you need to let this go. I like her, alright. Like, really like her. A lot. And I don’t want to screw this up. And I also don’t want you to scare her off by you being….well…you!” Logan said.

_He likes me!  Oh shit, he likes me._ How could she feel elated and panicked at the same time?

“She gets me, Dick. Like no one else I’ve ever met. Can you just please, knock it off.”  Logan continued.

“At least she won’t sleep with your dad," Dick chuckled.

“Fuck you."

There was a loud crash before something flew across the doorway and hit Dick in the face. He let out a deep growl of anger as the raw egg dripped down his chin.

“You fucking asshole!” Dick yelled.

Veronica covered her mouth to stifle her laugh as another egg whizzed past, hitting Dick in the chest.

Veronica heard Logan’s deep, loud laugh echo through the café.

“No, you're the fucking asshole!” Logan yelled back. “Now, go upstairs and shower. You can’t greet customers like that."

“I hate you,” Dick said as he hopped off the counter before quickly disappearing up the staircase.

“Ditto!” Logan yelled.

The sound of Veronica’s phone ringing made her jump. Scrambling from her spot towards the table, she snatched it up to answer.

“Hello?” she gasped.

“Sweetheart? Are you okay? I came home from a stake out and saw there was a blizzard in New York,” Keith Mars said, his voice slightly panicked. “Did they turn the electricity back on yet?”

“I don’t know, Dad. I stayed over –” she turned towards the kitchen door to see Logan leaning against the frame, brushing flour off his hands. Her eyes connected with his and he smiled. “I stayed over at a friend’s place. No need to worry.”

“Okay. Because when I cleared up the bill, they said it would be reconnected within a few hours,” Keith explained, his voice calmer.

Veronica held Logan’s gaze, barely registering what her father was saying. “Thanks Dad. I appreciate it.”

“Well, I’ll get my money back when I track Piz down and shake it out of him,” Keith muttered.

Veronica let out a deep sigh, turning her back to Logan so she could concentrate on the call.

“While you scaring the snot out of him is a somewhat comforting thought, I really could care less about seeing Piz again.  The past two weeks have been really good.  Better than I could have imagined."

"I'm glad you're doing so well on your own," her dad murmured.  "You know I worry about you."

Veronica closed her eyes to keep her tears at bay. "I gotta go Dad. Can I call you later?”

“Sure, honey. Take care.”

“Thanks Dad. Get some sleep,” she replied before disconnecting the call. Pulling the phone from the charger, she tucked it into the back pocket of her jeans.

Her pulse began to quicken, knowing Logan was in the room with her, but she was afraid to turn back around. Was it Lot’s wife that turned to salt, when she looked back as the sinful city of Sodom burned? She remembered something vaguely like that from going to church with Grandma Reynolds. Turning to salt, at the sight of the temptation of Logan, seemed like it could actually happen.

Slowly, she closed her laptop and gathered the cords from the outlet.  As she reached down to grab her backpack, she heard him cough a little, as if reminding her that he was still there.

“You should at least have a fresh cookie, or five, before you go,” he said from behind her. “I doubt we’ll have many customers so –”

Veronica dipped her head down, still avoiding his presenced, while loading everything in her backpack. “I don’t know, I mean, I should get home.”

“Do you want me to walk with you? It’s still pretty bad out.” Logan offered.

Veronica lifted her head towards the windows, but the blinds were still drawn. _This is ridiculous, just look at the man_ , she thought, before pivoting towards him.

“I thought I heard your co-worker this morning?” she said, focusing on his messy apron and not his sexy unkempt hair or his sparkling eyes. “How did he get here?”

“Dick's too stupid to realize that going for a walk outside when snow plows are operating may not be the best idea." Logan let out a husky laugh that made the hair on her arms dance.  "He walked in the ruts made by some delivery truck and came in the back door. He said that there was a big blackout at NYU and classes were cancelled for the day, so he came in to help me bake before his shift.”

"No classes?  Score!" she said with a little laugh. "Wait a minute... _you_ bake?"

“Now, don’t go forcing your gender roles on me,” he stated, wagging his finger at her playfully. “Yes, I bake. That’s why you’ve never seen me in the mornings. I’m usually up early with Mrs. Navarro, baking cookies, muffins, and scones for the day, in the kitchen. Mr. Navarro and Dick, as well as a couple of other staff, are the morning shift out front.”

Veronica wrinkled her nose in embarrassment. “I’m sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I started coming here for the coffee and ‘morning glory’ muffins."

“Well, the recipe is Mrs. Navarro’s but I usually make them,” he replied, taking a few steps past the counter, closer to her. “In fact, there are some in the oven right now.”

Veronica’s stomach betrayed her, letting out a low rumble at the mention of food.  Food would be good.

“Maybe I could stay and have one,” she said with a smile, taking a step closer to him. “And a coffee?”

Logan quirked his eyebrow, a dazzling grin forming on his lips. “Whatever your heart desires. Double-Americano?”

Veronica glanced at the clock. It was 5:50 a.m. Did she really want to be ‘7:15 Double-Americano’ anymore?

“How about just an espresso? With a shot of syrup? Maybe mix it up a bit today.”

“Change can be good,” he said, before turning towards the fancy coffee machines.

As he made her drink, Veronica walked over to watch. She breathed deeply at the smell of fresh ground espresso beans, before fixing her eyes on his sturdy hands as he went through the steps to make her coffee.

“I don’t think I’ve ever had someone watch me do this so intently,” he chuckled.

Veronica gave her head a small shake, taking her mind away from his hands. She blushed deeply and looked away.

“Sorry. I always watch people making my drinks,” she replied. “Now.”

She glanced up to see his smile vanish, his face growing serious. “Is that why you always came up to the counter for your coffee yesterday?”

Veronica nodded, feeling her chest constrict her words. She wanted to tell him how she snuck her own water bottles into restaurants, how she only ate in fast food joints where she could serve herself pop, and that she never drank when she went to the bar with friends, no matter how thirsty she was. But she couldn’t get the words to come out.

“I throw up when I smell pears,” he said quickly, filling the silence. “My dad forced me to eat an entire basket of them when I was a kid, because I misbehaved. When I couldn’t eat any more, he started shoving them in my mouth. Went on a date last year, and the girl had pears in her salad. I had to leave.”

Veronica’s hand began to shake at her side and she shoved it into her pocket, hoping he didn’t see.

“It’s okay,” Logan offered quietly. “I get it. You don’t have to worry.”

Carefully, he slid the small cup across the counter to her and she grasped it tightly, still not making eye contact.

“Thank you,” she murmured, glancing down at her sad reflection in the dark coffee.

“Why don’t you go sit down and I’ll bring you a muffin when they’re done.” He suggested. “Then we’ll make a plan to get you home safe.”

Veronica forced a small smile to her lips before turning and heading back to her table. Setting down the coffee, she glanced up at the clock. Almost 6:00 a.m. They would be opening soon.

Crossing to the windows, she pulled open the Venetian blinds. A small blast of cold air released and she shivered. Giant plows where in the road, pushing around the snow, and on the sidewalks, business owners were out trying to shovel paths for customers that weren’t there. Veronica opened all the blinds before flicking on the lights by the door.

“Welcome everyone,” Logan called as he walked from the kitchen carrying a plate with a piping hot muffin.

“I think you’re right. Business may be slow today,” she commented and took the plate from his hand.  She breathed deeply over the white fingers of heat coming from the muffin top and her stomach gurgled happily.

He unlocked the door and pushed it open a few inches, against the mound of snow. The wind whipped in a light dusting of flakes and Veronica squealed with delight. Logan let out a laugh and pulled the door closed.

“I know who needs a job…” he commented before marching back to the kitchen.

Sticking his head up the stairs, he hollered, “Dick! Get down here! You need to shovel the snow!”

A large banging came from above as feet stomped across the ceiling. They continued down the stairs until Dick appeared beside Logan, in a fresh shirt and washed hair.

“Why do I have to do that shit?” he said loudly.

“Because I’m the boss!” Logan answered, puffing his chest out slightly.

With a small giggle, Veronica walked over to place her muffin next to her coffee on the table. Sinking into the chair, she reached for her espresso and began drinking it slowly. Muttering and banging drifted from the kitchen and soon Dick appeared, bundled in a heavy parka, carrying a shovel over his shoulder.

“How’s it going?” Dick nodded at her as he walked to the front door.

“Good,” she replied with a smile.

Dick opened the door and the snow blew in again. With a grunt of frustration, he managed to push the door open enough to squeeze through before slamming it closed behind him. Logan appeared with a mop and began mopping up the water left on the ground.

“Once Dick finishes I can walk you home, or close to home, if you want,” he said, keeping his eyes lowered on his work. “That way someone is here if we get a customer.”

_But I don’t want this to end_ , she thought, her stomach full of butterflies.

“Maybe you can walk me _up_  to my apartment?” she asked, boldly. “Just in case, you know, it’s been overtaken by mice or polar bears while I was gone.”

The mop handle slipped from his hand and he juggled to catch it. “Really?”

“Yeah,” she said, fighting against her natural instinct of flight.  "Really."

The electronic sound of a beeper went off somewhere on Logan and he jumped, grabbing a kitchen timer from his apron pocket. He turned it off and smiled. “Last batch of cookies. I’ll finished up in the kitchen. Then we can go?”

“Okay,” Veronica replied, returning his smile.

He stood for a beat, bobbing his head in a nod that didn’t seem to end, a goofy grin pulling at the corner of his mouth.

_Oh my God, not only is he hot, he’s freaking adorable_! Trying not to let him see the absolute glee that surged through her, Veronica focused her gaze back on her breakfast, picking up the muffin and breaking it in half. She heard him clear his throat before hurrying back to the kitchen.

_You can do this_ , she said to herself. _You know he likes you, and you like him, just get him alone and tell him._

Alone.  In the apartment. 

“You can do this,” she repeated quietly.

Against her better judgment. Against everything she learned in her self-defence classes. Against her brain, that was currently screaming at her not to do it.

But her heart just wouldn’t let it be. 

She needed to know what would happen, if she told him she liked him as well. Didn’t she deserve to at least give him – and herself – a chance? If she ran away from someone she liked, because of what happened to her, wasn’t she letting her rapists control her life? And she'd be damned if she lost any more of her life to those criminals than she already did.

Veronica set down her coffee cup, her eyes fixed towards the kitchen doorway.  "You've got this, Veronica," she murmured, a small smirk tugging at her lip.  "You've _totally_ got this." 

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from the song "Jezebel" by Iron & Wine.


End file.
